It Only Took Me An Hour

I know you are wondering what only took me an hour? The answer is making my bed. By the time I had completed my task, not only did it take way too long, I was totally worn out. Had no energy left, soaking wet from sweat. I guess my real point here, is that I should of asked for help.  Sometimes I get so frustrated, because I can't do the things I use to do.  I know that I should ask for help, it is hard for me to do that. I have always been the one to help, not the one needing help.

I haven't even ventured out to a basketball game this year. I find myself, avoiding activities that I may need some help to do. I tell myself that I don't want to be a burden to my family or friends, so I stay home.  Then there is me being paranoid, thinking my friends have distanced themselves from me, because I can't do what I use to do.

What I need to do is get off the pity pot, and suck it up,  Also, there is no shame in asking for help, now if I can just take my own advice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

I pray everyone had a blessed Christmas! My children and grandbabies, came over last night, to open gifts. Papa, my Dad, made potato soup and oyster stew. Over the last few years this has turned into a tradition. This year we were missing my Mom, she passed away on February 25, 2011.  I am sure she was smiling down at all the happiness we were having.  I enjoyed the evening with my family. As much as I missed my Mom, I also missed my son A.J., he is suppose to get out of prison next month. Of course this isn't the first Christmas he has missed, I guess the last one he was home for, was when he was 16. 

Today, Ron and I went to Church, came home and Dad grilled steaks for the three of us. After lunch, I went to take a nap and woke up at 6.  My energy level has really decreased, and I hate that.  Normally I get dressed in the bathroom after my shower, today I dressed in the bedroom. I needed Ronnie's help, he informed me that it sure took me a long time to get dressed. My response was, "no kidding Sherlock".

Merry Christmas to everyone. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Is it Stress or the Weather?

I haven't been feeling very good for awhile, that is why my neurologist wants to change my MS meds. I am feeling worse every day. I have tried to get my neurologist to let me know what I need to do. But, hasn't returned my calls. Frustrating as that is, what frustrates me most is not having the energy to do much more than sit. I force myself to get up and go, fight through the pain and burning. I am not running any races, lol, but if I lay around my depression would be worse.

Now, beyond all the whinning I have been doing, God has bestowed on me many Blessings. My Grandbabies are so excited about Christmas.  Hailey is three, and there haven't been any presents under their tree. Her Mom wrapped and placed a lot of gifts under the tree after the kids had went to sleep last night. When Hailey woke up she thot the presents meant it was Christmas, so she ran in her Mom's room and woke her up. lol 
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

Christmas is the Season and Jesus is the Reason We Celebrate!

I have been procrastinating on writing my blog. I couldn't get myself motivated to write anything positive, and didn't want to write anything depressing. I read this on Julie's blog and thought it fit me pretty good. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

Why are parties hard for some people with MS?
By, Julie Stachowiak PHD

Parties, holiday or otherwise, take many different forms, such as: 

• children’s parties (think 20 six-year-olds, wild with excitement about opening presents and fueled by sugar, sugar, sugar)
  
• an office party on a Friday evening (think 30 adults, happy to be done with the workweek, getting a little loud and maybe tipsy as they discuss interoffice gossip)
• a family celebration (think about all of the emotional baggage that comes with this particular mix of people, not to mention your role in preparing the meal and other tasks)

Any of these scenarios can be draining for anyone. However, people with MS have specific symptoms related to the disease that can make parties like this particularly demanding — emotionally, mentally and physically.

Many people with MS have cognitive dysfunction. Most people associate this with things like not being able to remember something they just heard, or putting something, such as the house keys, down and being unable to find them again five minutes later.

However, cognitive issues can also make it difficult to keep up with a conversation, especially if lots of people are talking at the same time. We may have a hard time finding just the right words to communicate a thought — often, by the time we figure out how to express ourselves, the conversation has moved on to a new topic.

Fatigue can also be a big impediment to being the life of the party. Many of us barely have the energy reserves to make it through a normal day. Holiday time, with the extra stuff that we have to do, can really wipe us out. A holiday party can require more energy than we have.

Speech problems are another type of MS symptom. Dysarthria is a speech disorder in which the pronunciation is unclear, but the meaning of what is said is normal. It can cause people to speak in slow or strange rhythms. It can also make people with MS speak more softly than they would like or slur their words. This makes it hard to participate in conversations at parties, especially if there is loud music or lots of background noise.

These are just some of the challenges that people with MS bring with them to parties. Let's not forget other MS symptoms that can impact many of us, such as urinary incontinence, mobility and balance issues, various pain symptoms — all of which can make it difficult to relax and enjoy a party.

However, this doesn't mean that we should sit at home while others are having fun. I have a few suggestions for how to enjoy yourself at a party, particularly during this holiday season:

• Be picky. If you don't really, really want to go to a party, don't go. 
  
• Plan ahead. Rest up before the party, so that you build some energy reserves to carry you through.
• Strategize your socializing. Have a two-sentence answer prepared for the "how are you?" question, so that you don’t find yourself stumbling around looking for an appropriate response. 
• Have one-on-one conversations. Trying to participate in a large group discussion can be hard, especially if the topics are moving quickly. Find an interesting person and have a nice chat, preferably in a quiet place.
  
• Don't be afraid to leave early. Listen to your body, and do what it says in terms of getting out of there and into bed.

Party Time

It is that time of year when we have Christmas parties.  Our Sunday School class party, was last night at Lucy's, (our teacher). We had lots of food, conversation, gifts, and games.  We all ate too much, but had a great time. I am honored to be a part of such a humble and loving group of Christians.   We all need to remember that JESUS is the REASON FOR THE SEASON. 

As far as my MS, or other issues go, yes I have pain, especially my lower back today.  But, there are others that are hurting worse than I am, and they don't have Jesus, like I do. Please keep all those who need Jesus in your prayers.  GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD.

Holiday Blues

I guess we all probably get the Holiday Blues, at some point. This is my first Christmas since my Mom passed away, and I am finding it harder, than I thought I would.  Plus of course let's not forget about the MS and arthritis, and the fact that this year, I have more limitations.  I miss the fact that I don't work with the kids at Church anymore, but I do enjoy going to my own Sunday School class.  We use to do the Christmas program at Church and the Nursing Home.  We always had a float in the parade, and went out and sing Christmas Carols.  My mind is racing and I need to go to sleep, have Doctor Appts later today. So many people are having problems this year, I would love to help them all, but all I can do is Pray.  I guess I am kind of rambling tonight. Night. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

Yeah, It's a Good Day!

Little headache, but not bad. The last few days haven't been that good. Have had a lot of pain in my eyes and legs. I have found that I do better if I at least try to get up and do things. I went to Church on Sunday and despite the pain I was having, enjoyed it immensely. Just Hailey and I went, she loves to go, and loves her teachers to death. Maybe she is my motivator, I hate to disappoint her.  Anybody that has Grandchildren, knows what I mean. My daughter Katrina, came over Saturday and put my tree up and helped wrap some gifts. Lol, she was trying to get me to let her wrap her own presents. This is my first Christmas, without my Mama, and although that in itself breaks my heart. I know I have to keep her traditions going. She loved Christmas, she loved to give gifts, sing Christmas songs, and make goodies for all of us. Making goodies is not something I am really able to do, my arms give out after just a few minutes of doing anything. 
My Granddaughter Hailey and I, had a conversation on the true meaning of Christmas. She knew that we celebrate Christmas, because it is Jesus birthday. I told her the story of Jesus' birth, and the why we give gifts. I am grateful to my daughter and her husband for allowing me to take the grandbabies to Church. My daughter works most Sunday's, so isn't able to go to Church. Yesterday at lunch time, Hailey wanted to have the honors again, (Pray), she thanked God for the food. Then she wanted to have the honors again, this time she thanked God for her Maw Maw and Meme (her other Grandma). GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

Rough Couple of Days

Last couple of days has been kind of rough. The pain has been seriously bad. I went to Dollar store with Hailey tonight, and could barely get around, pain was so intense.  I take several pain meds, and most of the time I can handle it. But, tonight it made me cry, and I hate when I can't handle it.

Carpal Tunnel

I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel approximately 18 months ago. Since that time I have been wearing hand/arm braces on both hands. They sent me to a VA surgeon, almost a year ago, he was concerned with my MS meds and the anistegia not mixing well. Wanted to wait until I was on meds for a while. Then in August, they sent me to a Neurosurgeon at the University. There is apparently a newer method, to do surgery, that wouldn't require anistegia. He asked the VA permission to do new EMG studies on me, and on this past Tuesday I had the studies done. Needless to say, it hurt, especially the part where they stick you with a needle. Now I wait for them to call me and setup the surgery. doing one hand at a time. Have no idea how I am going to get around, with my sticks. My hands are hurting worse now, than they were, lol. Got to keep laughing, can't let life get me down. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD

MS and Loneliness

I have been reading blogs, written by others with MS. Something that seems to be a common theme, is how we feel lonely, even when others are present. My life has changed so much in the last couple of years. I use to be so busy with everything and everybody. I went to Church events, ball games, get togethers at friends houses.  Now, I have physical limitations, but would love to do some of the things I use to. I have friends that I have probably only seen two or three times, since my diagnosis. lol have to laugh, don't know if they think I am contagious or what. 

I can talk, listen, even give a hug. I love hugs. There isn't anything better than a good hug. I do have some friends, that check on me almost every day, I love them so much. My big sister and one of my brothers are always there for me. I guess what I am tryin to say is, although I may not feel good, I want you to know I am there for you.

Baby It's Cold Out There

Every time I go out the door, my husband says you better put on a coat, it is cold. His cold and my cold are two different things. I get hot and sweaty, more often than not. I cover the heat vent by my chair and run a fan. lol. It was warm in Sunday School today, but Church Service was just right, lot of folks were cold though.

Sunday School was awesome, as usual. Church Service was very good, also. I was more than a little tired though, (had to close my eyes every once in a while), sorry Pastor Neal. I find myself doing that quite often again. Took nap this afternoon, that was much needed. I love my Church Family, they are always there for me. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

Adventure Caught Up With ME

Well by the time afternoon came around yesterday, I was tired, hurting, and extremely weak. Wound up sleeping most of the afternoon and evening. But, I still think it was worth it to go to the Black Friday Sales, lol. Today has been another day of falling asleep at the turn of a hat. Not to bad, until you do it when someone is trying to have a conversation with you. I hate when that happens, it's not that I am bored, I just can't keep my eyes open.



















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































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Black Friday Experience

I prepared for the big sale at Wal-Mart, by printing off my shopping list and the map of where items were to be. I got my help lined up, set a time to meet them at the store. But, most importantly I got my body ready, by taking a long nap. One of the many things I have learned, with my MS, is to not over do it, conserve energy when you can.

Call me crazy, Katrina and two of her friends went with me last night to Wal-Mart. It was so crowded, girls coudn't even get a cart. I got there about 8:30, and the door greeter went and got me a electric cart, it was fully charged, bless her. We got most of what we were wanting. The Wal-Mart employee's and fellow shoppers, were polite and very helpful. It was probably my best Black Friday experience. I can't say enough about all the help I got, my daughter and her friends were awesome, The employee's were just spectacular, and my fellow shoppers, helped me get stuff I couldn't reach. I wish I could thank everyone personally, for showing me that most of the people here in West Plains, are kind and loving.

Working Through The Pain!

Not a real good day. lol. Tired and worn out from long day, yesterday. My husband had a sleep study on Monday Night, I got to sleep in a chair, yea how fun. We had a long day, my sleep was all messed up. Lots of pain today, but have been trying to work through it. Thank the Lord, for my Family and Friends, for all their love and suport.

Are You Tired, I Am. LOL

I borrowed this information from the National MS Society, blog.  I was amazed at how much of the information fitted me.

Rosalind Kalb, PhD

Vice President, Professional Resource Center, National MS Society

So, the holidays are approaching fast. There are presents to buy, friends and relatives to see, get-togethers to plan or attend, and meals to prepare or share. No wonder many of us greet this season with a mixture of excitement and panic – it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. And for anyone living with the overpowering fatigue of MS, just the thought of all this activity can be exhausting. 

For some people the pressure to feel jolly, festive, social and grateful can have the opposite effect – leading to a whopping case of the holiday blues. We’ve all had them at one time or another, but MS can sometimes bring on those blues with a vengeance, particularly when MS symptoms make everything a little less fun and a little more challenging. The shopping can be a major chore... the office celebrations start too late in the day…having people over is too stressful to even think about... people’s houses aren’t accessible…friends and family don’t really get it – they’re either trying too hard to be helpful and sympathetic (you know – those sad, worried looks that say “Oh, I’m sooo sorry”), or don’t understand the impact of MS at all (“But you look so good!”). All of these challenges can lead to feelings of loss, and a major disconnect between the way things are, the way people think they’re supposed to be at holiday time, and the way they used to be before MS came along.

It’s normal – and healthy – to grieve when things we value in our lives are lost or changed. When MS messes with people’s lives and abilities, requiring them to give up cherished activities or do them differently, they often feel as though MS is “chipping away” at them, changing the person they were into someone new and unfamiliar. Grieving over changes and losses is a process that ebbs and flows with the ups and downs of the disease. Like all grief, it can feel very painful at times, but it generally lessens with time. And believe it or not, the grieving process is what allows people to gradually let go of the way things were yesterday and begin to think creatively about how they can make them better today.

When getting into the holiday spirit feels like the challenge of a lifetime, it may help to think about what parts of the holiday season are most important to you – and focus your attention and energy on those. Give yourself permission to do things differently and let your family and friends in on your priority list. If buying presents for others is at the top of your list – skip the stores and jump onto the Internet. If having guests over is your passion, make it a potluck or order in the goodies. If using a mobility aid will help you conserve your energy for the fun stuff, grab it! The point is to hold onto whatever it is about the holidays that gives them meaning for you – and let go of the rest.

And now a word about depression – which is very common in MS even without the stress of the holidays. Remember I said that grief is normal and healthy? Well, depression isn’t. Depression doesn’t ebb and flow like grief; it comes and stays like an unbearable blanket of painful emptiness. As much a part of the disease process in MS as it is a reaction to its challenges, depression is a symptom of MS that deserves prompt diagnosis and treatment. If you find that your mood has tanked, leaving you feeling sad or irritable most of every day for a few weeks, accompanied by a loss of interest in things that used to engage you, changes in your sleep patterns and/or eating habits, or thoughts about hurting yourself or suicide, let your healthcare provider know about it. Depression is very treatable. Getting a grip on your mood will make life – and the holidays – feel much easier to manage.

My Family and Friends

I would like to thank everyone that takes time to read my blog, it means a lot to me. Today started out at 6:00, I had to get up, couldn't sleep any longer. Went and sat in my chair, kept falling asleep, lol. One of the things that really wipes me out is hot showers, they wear on my muscles. I can't trust my hands to let me know how hot the water is because of the numbness, I use my upper arm. I use to be able to take a shower and get dressed within 15-20 minutes. Now I am lucky to get done in 45 minutes, sometimes I require some help getting dressed. I did take one today, lol. I wasn't feeling the best, but I needed to go to Church. I love my Sunday School class, and listening to Pastor Neal during service. I probably would of went home after Sunday School, if my daughter and her husband hadn't came for church. I loved that, even if I didn't feel good. I rested when I got home, watched some football later. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD.

What To Do? Not an Easy Question.

I had an appointment with my neurologist on the 8th of November. We talked about my MS progressing and how my current medicine, a shot I take every other day is not working like it should. My eyes continue to get worse, the pain, double vision, and blurriness. He would like to put me on a new med, in which I would receive an infusion once a month. The poblem is this med attacks the white blood cells, that are attacking the protective coating of the nerves in the brain and spine.  My immune system will be compromised, and have a greater chance of getting PML, a rare brain infection, that can be deadly. So, needless to say, all of this has been waying on my mind. Need some prayers, for guidance.

I Can't Get Enough Sleep

Wow, I have been falling asleep all day. I didn't get up until, 9:30, then got up and fell asleep again in my chair. I just never know what day, is going to be so sleepy. Anyway, I keep falling asleep wrting this, so I am going to go ahead and close.

Good Day and yet, Bad

I woke up to numbness and tingling, blah. Got up and sat in chair, fell asleep. Daughter called me and wanted to go get Grandbabies hair cut. So, I got up and took my shower and got dressed.  I returned home and hour later Ronnie and I went to lunch. Then we went to Penny's to look around, then he pushed me in my chair to Big Lot's. We got back home around 3, I was wiped out.  I went to bed and slept till 6. Been having a lot of them intense stabbing headaches. But all in all, not to bad a day. Love Family.

The Wind is Crazy Strong

We made our trip to Indiana yesterday. We fought with the wind the entire time. I am not big on wearing jackets or coats, because I am hot most of the time. But, yesterday the wind was so strong and cold, I had no choice. But, then you have the hassel of taking it off and carrying it in the store or where ever. Today is maybe even windier, but it is not a cold wind for the most part. I have been extremely sleepy last couple of days, not sure why that is, but I am fairly sure it isn't do to the wind. lol

Veteran's Day

As a DAV, I always love to celebrate Veteran's Day. It seems to me people put away their prejudices aside, to say thank you to a Vet. Although there is some sadness to the holiday, it seems to me that the entire country comes together to celebrate.  As far as my MS goes, today I feel pretty good, and pray to make it through the day that way. Love and Huge gratitude to all Veteran's and their families.

Difficulties of Traveling With MS

One of my major issues with my MS, are my eyes. I have double vision, in which they have given me glasses made with prism glass. And although this works for the most part, sometimes I see double even with them on. I have this intense pain in my eyes sometimes that just make me want to cry. This is how I felt this morning while traveling from southern Iowa to my brothers about 100 miles away. I couldn't go crawl in my bed and put my head under the cover, to try and feel better.  Hope  to write more tomorrow.

Day of Shopping and Crazy Carts

My two cousins and Aunt, took me shopping. It was a good time, but very tiring. Lots of issues, with the electric scooters at stores, but good time overall. Going to my home town of Dysart, IA tomorrow.

Long Day Yesterday

Yesterday was a long day, started with Dad and I leaving the house at 4:45 AM.  We stopped at the VA for my Doctor appointments. Seen Neurologist, to get results of last MRI and issues that I am currently having. Some of my issues continue to get worse, so he thinks we need to move to a different medication.  I would receive an infusion once a month. Currently I am on the Beta-Seron, which I give myself a shot every other day. Will have to have some blood tests, and classes before I can be switched over. We got back on the road to Iowa around noon, and got to my Uncle's house around 3:30.

Rain or No Rain That is the Question?

I personally would enjoy a nice rain, although it is usually makes my arthritis pain worse. The rest of me would just like to go stand in it, doesn't that sound like fun. My Grandbabies are going to be here later today for us to watch while their parents are at work. Between me, my husband and my Dad, we are able to keep them here. They always make me smile, no matter how bad I am feeling.  Today is a good day so far and hopefully will stay that way. lol You know I am so thankful for my family, I have a good husband, the best Daddy, two of the best daughters, all of whom would do anything for me. My son doesn't live in this area right now, but I'm sure he would too. I hope everyone has a great and pain free day. God Bless!

Had a Great Sunday

It was a wonderful day, had Church and Sunday School. Then we went to our Bible Study, at our friends house, where we ate and studied and had a great day of fellowship and learning. We are really enjoying the Bible Study we are doing, our teacher and her assistants are very knowledgable in the Bible.  I am extremely tired and hurting some, but I am so glad that I got to go to Church and Bible Study.

You Got To Love Sundays

It is a day of worship, a day to have fellowship with others.  I love it when I feel good on Sunday's, because I look forward to going to Sunday School and Church all week long. At Bethel, we have awesome teaching and preaching. I love my Sunday School class, we have an absolutely wonderful teacher, and class. When it comes to preaching, there is none better than Pastor Neal. After Church, we are going to April and Scotts, for fellowship and Bible Study. Pray, I make it through the day ok.

A Day of Rest

Has been a busy couple of days. My husband and I traveled to Columbia, on Thursday. Trip always wears me out. We had appts literally all day Friday, then we traveled back to West Plains. Needless to say my pain level by the time we got home was pretty high. My youngest spent the night, she has been sick all week. I have been sleeping most of today, which is usually what happens when we travel like that. Doctor appointments went ok, go to neurologist on Tuesday.

Numbness and Tingling, Headache, not a good day.

This morning I woke up to more than my normal amount of numbness and tingling in feet and hands. Not a good day to have to travel to Columbia. Have early Dr. appointments tomorrow at the VA. The weather is just nasty today, Raining and cold. Sorry, not up to writing much today. Have a good day.

It's a Good Day

So far, it is a good day. You know the day when you get up and are able to have a cup of coffee with your husband. Your mind is mostly clear, lol, and you are able to keep up with the conversation. I have found that if I make myself get up by 6:30 and take my morning meds, I have a better day, than I do when I sleep to like 8:00 and take them. Most importantly I find if I talk to God first thing in the morning, it always helps.  I hope everyone has a good day, and God blesses you, like he has me.

You Look Good

There are days, when I am hurting so bad all I want to do is go back to bed. I usually try to go ahead and get myself up, sometimes I get dressed. With MS, many don't realize, although "YOU LOOK GOOD", you are in pain, and it is all you can do to be there. We just smile and say thank you, although there are times you want to scream, well I feel like "crap".